His True Lily
by inkandlilacs
Summary: He touched the side of my cheek. I can feel his eyes on mine. At that moment, I saw sadness in them. Those black eyes that I learned to love, they are penetrating inside me. Inside my soul. He is human! And I can feel his pain. His lips moved, and whispered in a breathless tone.'Lily..' My heart stopped. Then it raced inside my chest.'I am not..I am not that Lily..'
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is my first story, I am hoping for your patience and honest feedbacks. I promise that I will do well as my story made its progress. I hope you will like it in the long run. This first chapter is too short, but I'll do better. Thank you!

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Chapter 1

To begin with,I am a squib. My parents have the magical blood in their veins. And so are my brothers. I have already accepted my fate. Though I can't help but feel bitterness in me sometimes. So, if I'm a squib, you would be wondering why I am here in the wizarding world. In Hogwarts, to be precise. Maybe you will think that I and Filch are getting along well. But I'm telling you, we don't.

Since my family are known here in the wizarding world(they were Slytherins , and former followers of The Dark Lord, from what I am told),I was shut into the muggle world, and no one knows about me. My family, they were killed by Voldemort. The family that I only get to see every other year or so. I was sent to a boarding school.I spent Christmas and other occasions alone. I can say that my family's rich, both in muggle and wizarding world. They give me my needs. I am not deprived of food and other things, but I am deprived of one thing. That is acceptance. They cannot admit and flaunt to the wizarding world that they got a squib in the family. And they are gone . I am not trying to be pityful. I dont aim to acquire sympathies from so many people,so if you view me as that, then you are definitely wrong.

An event in my life changed my fate,from what I believed it should be like. It all started one evening. In one of those ordinary evenings where I indulged myself in looking outside my window,before I fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**A/N:** I admit that this story is boring so far. But I don't have the enough courage to abandon this. Not yet. And, I currently don't have a beta, so please, pardon any of my wrong spellings and also, I am hungry for reviews, I do not know if Im just doing it ok or not. Reviews will help . And last of all,I forgot to say, that everything belongs to JK Rowling.

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It was a loud noise that had woke me up that night. And the same reason why I hurried to the living room, where I found two mysteriously looking people. A man and a woman who wore long robes that touched the floor. I know then, at that very moment, that these two mysteriously looking visitors share the same type of blood as my parents' and ancestors'. And the realization that they are present in front of me send a sudden rush of panic to my brain. My heart thudded in my chest, I turned pale, my legs turned wobbly. Are they here to kill me? My family are dead. Are they going to kill me too? Am I next? What should I do? There is no escape. These two people think that their kind is far superior than mine, and maybe they are truly right. I was caught off guard. I never thought that their kind would haunt me here, and would find the pleasure of killing me. Maybe its still because that I am related to my family, though I don't got the magic in my blood. The woman started to move, towards me. And that's when great fear started to rise inside me. My world started to spin, and then, slowly, I saw darkness. And I hit the ground.

ooo

My throat is burning. I tried to breathe. I gasped for air and opened my eyes. My vision was blurred. The first thing that I found strange is the place itself. The walls are bare. The ceiling was high. There were a few white beds, and I can smell the scent of wintergreen. Its soothing and relaxes to the feeling. The temperature was cold. I looked around again. Am in a hospital? For the ambiance was like one of the hospital's. I pushed myself up in a sitting position. And got out of bed, on doing so, I knocked out a silver goblet and it made a loud clank on the floor. Then I heared hurried footsteps.

"She is awake"

I heared a woman's voice said. Her voice was strict, firm yet soft.

There were three people approaching me, and of those three, the two I recognized from the event of last night. A thought had occurred to me. They did not kill me! But I honestly did not know whether that is something to rejoice about. The witch, not the one I saw from last night was wearing blue and white robes. There was something soft in her nature, something that makes you calm and be at ease. She hurried to my side and pushed me back to bed. She pulled a stick, a wand I guess, she performed a very little movement, one that you would not notice if you would really not pay much attention. I have not seen magic in a very long time. The first time I witnessed it was when my older brother set fire on my favorite book. A tray with bottles containing different color of liquids came floating beside her, she took one of the bottles, the one containing a dark violet color, she opened it and pressed it on my lips. I was too afraid to reject, or to do any appeal, I summoned my courage and gulp the contents, but I ejected the liquid, I coughed and spilled all of it on my clothes. The witch then flicked her wand again and the mess I made instantly vanished.

" I knew it, she's not used to how it would taste." She shakes her head." Maybe you can do something about it Severus?"

The man,the wizard, he unfolded his arms and looked straight at me."Well..I can do some alteration to the taste, make it more mugglelike..."

I stopped coughing and looked at him too. He was slim, tall,very pale. His eyes were coal black. It is the first time I really paid attention to him. It is the first time I really paid attention to a man. His nose was prominent, his cheeks-

"However, I believe that the young girl should learn to drink my potions without any form or reason of objection the next time she needed again to drink them"

I stopped appraising. And absorbed what he just said. He was looking at me, his face expressionless. And his eyes penetrating. It made me uneasy. But I cannot look away. He reminded me of the man in the park I saw when I was just a kid. It was a school field trip.I accidentally spilled my orange juice to his shoes. The man glares at me and I was rooted on the spot. I cant even move a muscle, I cant even breathe properly,afraid that my little movement would cause him more anger.

It was the witch wearing green robes that had spoken this time,she was the witch with that wizard last night."Severus" She addressed the wizard."Would you be kindly prepare the potions for her now?"

"As you wish Minerva" he said in a very low voice.

Minerva addressed me then," It is urgent that we talk after you recover. I know that you are in deep confusion. However, everything will come to light after it's well explained..."

I didnt hear the rest. I was looking at him, he was walking away,with elegant strides. His long black robes has a hypnotizing effect. He exited through the door, closed it behind him and was gone. At that moment, I was certain I do not like him,and also concluded that I will do every possible way not to be in his sight, and not to be within his sight.

Both of the witches stopped talking. Worried glances were exchanged. I sighed.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**:Currently don't have a beta. I warn you now that you may find lots of typo and grammar errors in this chapter. I reposted it again,for I accidentally posted the previous one. Its frustrating,and alarming,I have posted this chapter thrice with errors that I have unsuccesfully removed.I edited it,more than thrice,and when I hit the save button,it turns out that it is remain unedited.. forgive me

Everything belongs to JK Rowling.

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Days have passed. I was too afraid to get out of this bed, afraid to know what was there to come for me. But I know very well at the same time that I must face it with a brave heart. For three days,I was malingering,always complaining of dizziness so as not to be remove here in my temporary condition,for three days,I have known that the witch who always tend to me is called Madam Pomfrey,that Im currently in the Hospital wing,that she is a healer,similar to a doctor in the muggle world.I have known too that I am in a place called Hogwarts,a school for young witches and wizards,and that Professor McGonagall, the witch from that very night,is the current Headmistress.

Looking throughout the window, I have decided to face my fear,for prolonging it would make it more difficult for me to handle. When Madam Pomfrey checked my condition that day,I told her that I already feel well. she gave me a single potion and I drank it without any form of hesitation.

"Professor McGonagall wants to see you then. She asked me to tell you that you must see her once you feel better"She was waving her wand up and down my body"You should find her in the Headmistress' Office. Two floors up,end of the corridor,you will see two gargoyles...password is lemon drops"

I furrowed my brows"lemon drops?"

She flicked her wand one last time,patted me hard on the shoulder,"yes dear,lemon drops"

Madam Pomfrey left me in a state of confusion.

oooo

I found in amazement that I am indeed in a magical world for as I walked past the corridors,I have completely noticed that the paintings that hung in the castle walls do move! A gentleman in one of the paintings snore,a woman in the other is busily nursing her child,there are others too that talk and sing to themselves. What amazes me most is that the staircase is moving. I ascended two floors,and on the far end of the corridor,I saw no doubt,the gargoyles that Madam Pomfrey was talking about.I stepped in front of the gargoyles,unsure of what to do.I have the password(very muggle, I think)yes, but how can it be of any use to me when I do not know in fact how can it be of any use? I think hard. Maybe my little brain can be of any help. I am in the wizarding world. There is magic of course. Should I just speak of the password? Like its a form of a magic word just like in Alibaba where the doors of the cave opened automatically? I looked around. I am completely alone. I took a deep breath. I spoke the password in a low voice. The gargoyles moved. A staircase appeared.

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	4. Chapter 4

A/N:I apologize for any errors that you might encounter here.

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling.

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The staircase spun upward. And then I saw before me a quite large room, several portraits lined the walls, and there were stacks of books too. I saw Professor McGonagall sitting on her desk. She asked me to come forward and offered me a seat.

She cleared her throat before speaking.

"First of all" She began, "It was nice to see that you have now finally gotten over floo sickness" Floo sickness? I wondered."I believe I must be direct to the point now and explain to you the real reason why you are here in the wizarding world" She looked at me, making sure if I can follow. I nodded."Your family died in the wizarding world,they were killed by Voldemort himself, as what written in the letter that you have received just months ago. After the war,the ministry passed many laws, one of that is the legalization of all squibs. Many years ago, squibs were not required to do registration in the Ministry, but now that the wizarding population is getting thinner and thinner, something has to be done to avoid the extinction of our kind." She paused,fixing her spectacles."The second reason why you are here is because I believe that you can be of use here in the wizarding community. Muggle Studies used to be an optional course here in Hogwarts, only students who seem interested take the subject. But now, it has been made mandatory that that each student should enroll in that course, and I am hoping that you would take the post"

I furrowed my brows "What do you mean? And what Muggle Studies?"

"Muggle is the term for a person who do not belong to the wizarding community"

"Yes I know that"

"Muggle Studies .It is about what muggles do, how they live, act, and everything about them…"

I nodded.

"I am asking you to take the post as Muggle Studies professor"

I just stared. A few seconds passed. "Professor? My family are death eaters?"I said instead of giving an answer regarding to her question.

"Yes" She nodded.

"But I don't understand…."

"Hmm…I would be glad to explain things to you if only I can. But it was Severus who knows everything,regarding your family"

"Is that..is Severus Professor Snape?

"Yes he is "She patted my shoulder" I believe I must give you enough time to think about it, about being the Muggle Studies Professor" She said dismissing me." Your chambers is down in the dungeons"

"Thank you. But how can I find the way to the dungeons Professor?

She gave me a quick small smile."You can ask the paintings"

0000

"A History of Magic" was printed on the book cover. I put it on the table,pulled out a chair and started reading. I am in a school. And of course, there must be a library, So I asked the paintings where I can find it. I flipped the pages,t he book was very old, I was very careful with it.

"Enjoying your stay here in the wizarding world I suppose?"

It was a deep voice. Cold and very familiar.I looked up. It was, as I expected, Professor Snape.

"Well…Should I not?" I stared at his black eyes. The hypnotizing effect was there again, I just can't look away.

"I warn you…that your life would be really….really difficult" My eyes widened. He just send thousands of ice through my veins, making my blood to freeze. My heart stopped pumping blood. My blood turned like ice. He looked at the book lying on the table."And you are doing your homework? Getting to know the wizarding world?" He smirked."I didn't expect you can be this excited…Good luck to you Evangeline."

He said my name. And then he walked away. His robes flying, and I can smell lilacs and wintergreen.


	5. Chapter 5

September is coming nearer as ever. And I can feel the slight symptoms of nervousness for school will begin soon. I have accepted Professor McGonagall's offer. And I guess, that it is the main reason for the nervousness that I feel. For a full month, I have tried my best everything I could know in the Wizarding world. And I have tried my very best not to be in any kind of contact with The Potions Master.

I made my way to the hospital wing, and once I reached it, I kindly demanded a cure for my sickness. I feel ill, and was experiencing vomiting since morning. Madam Pomfrey concluded that I ate something that not suited me well. She opened a cabinet where different potions are stored, and then she turned to me, and uttered the words that I surely do not want to hear.

" I am sorry dear, but I don't have the potion here that you might need. Go and see Professor Snape down in the dungeons and ask him about it"

I am sure I looked paler. And Madam Pomfrey noticed it too, so she insisted that I should see Professor Snape quickly.

I made my way down into the dungeons. This is news to me. I didn't know that Professor Snape is in the dungeons with me. I forgot to say, that ghosts in the wizarding world are not like the ghosts in muggle world. I have my favorite ghost here, St. Nicholas, whom I always ask where places are. He's more reliable in giving directions than paintings. I take a left turn, and then another left, and saw a door. I brerathed deeply,and opened it with trembling hand. I saw Professor Snape in his desk, writing. He looked up at me, amusement on his face.

I gulped."I need a potion" I half stammered."Madam Pomfrey said that…"…Madam Pomfey said that she don't have the poton I needed,and that I must ask you for it instead. Sir.."

I don't understand the expression on his face."Would you mind telling me, what illness have you gotten this time? You don't expect me to give you another for floo sickness…"

I looked down,and explained to him what Madam Pomfrey said. I heared him moved,when I looked up,I saw that he opened a door, I cannot see what's inside for it was a bit dark. He went inside. I heared him opening a cabinet, then came the clattering of bottles. He shut the cabinet, emerged at the door, closed it behind him and put a blue potion on his table. He sat down and started writing again.

"The potion can't walk towards you. Unless you have a wand to have it."He was writing so fast. I can hear the sound the quill made as it touch the parchment."Come here and get it." He growled. Which made me jump. I move towards him, and stand in front of his desk. He was writing with an elegant motion of his hand. I can smell the ink. I can smell his scent again. His scent. Wintergreen and something manly. I blushed.I can see him carefully, head bent down, I have a good view of his long black hair. It was shiny, and I wanted to touch it. He looked up. I caught my heart on my throat.  
"I thought you feel ill Why not grab the potion and leave?"

I bit my lower lip,took the potion with trembling hand, and turned my back at him.

"I think I should remind you now that you must come to the ministry with me two days from now" He said in a flat tone. I reached the door at that time, and my other hand was wrapped on the handle."Go to the ministry with you? Sir?" I suddenly feel very apprehensive.

"For some legal matters." He replied while writing

"Is it really urgent sir?"I asked softly

"Yes it is. Now leave me for your prescence annoy me." He said exasperated.

I opened the door, stepped out from his warm classroom and made my way towards my room. I sat on my bed, opened the potion and drank it. It tastes bubble gum. I placed the bottle on my bedside table.I pull under my pillow a leather journal. I wrote 29th of August. Ministry. Professor Snape.

I stared at my handwriting. And compare it with Professor Snape's. His was elegant, the letters were like ribbons. I flipped the journal, on the last page of it, I wrote my name. With a handwriting similar to his.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** I honestly do not know whether to continue with this story or not. I am thinking of abandoning it if it seems like no one's enjoying it. Forgive me for any errors that you might find in this chapter. Thank you.

0000

**The Greek word for "return" is nostos. Algos means "suffering." So nostalgia is the suffering caused by an unappeased yearning to return."  
― Milan Kundera, Ignorance**

We were walking in the school grounds. As we neared the gate, Professor Snape took his wand and pointed it on the iron gate, it opened. We stepped out, and the gates closed again.

He pulled out a silver goblet."Since you cannot apparate, then we would be using a portkey. At a count of three, you must get hold of the portkey. Do not withdrawn, whatever happens."He looked at me" Do I make myself clear?" I nodded. And then he counted. I got hold of the goblet. Our fingers touched."It's better if you close your eyes…"I heared him say. I can feel a strong wind around us, It's pulling me away.I shut my eyes and gripped tighter. I am spinning. And then slowly, I felt that I hit something hard. I opened my eyes. And Professor Snape was supporting me on my back. I guess I nearly hit the ground. And Professor Snape was just in time to prevent that from happening. I thanked him. Though I disliked his cold character, he is still being civil to me. And besides, I would be over reacting If I will say that there is any harm done.

Professor Snape broke the physical contact and started walking towards the swarm of people. I followed. The ministry is no doubt full of busy people. Its noisy, and there were papers fling around. We walked,and then turned left,where only a few people can be seen. He stopped walking in front of an oak door and looked at me" Come" He said

And then he opened the door. It was a huge room. And looks very legal. The desk was made of oak, there were tall stacks of paper on it. A wizard can been seen sitting on the chair.

"A pleasant morning to both of you" The wizard said,and Professor Snape nodded. I gave a nervous smile.

"We must get to the business at once, Prime minister" Professor Snape said. The Prime Minister nodded in understandment. He pulled out a paper from his desk.

"You just both needs to sign it" He gave the paper to Professor Snape.I saw him signed it. He gave the paper to me. And I signed it too. Soon, we were at the doors. The minister said goodbye to us.

When we arrived once again at the school grounds, I asked him "Professor, What's that all about?"He was walking fast and Im having a hard time to keep pace at him.

He spoke " It's about the properties that yor parents left you" He stopped walking. He look tired and lacked sleep.

"I didn't know that they left me something "I said flatly."But Professor, why is it that you needed to accompany me?"

"Because your parents told it to only me"

"Why, Professor?"

"Because I and your parents were both Death Eaters and they trust me."

Another news to me. "You signed in the papers."

"As a witness that you have successfully claimed what's they left to you"

He started to walk.I hurried towards him.

"Professor. Tell me about them"

"Who?"

"My parents. You said they trust you. So that means you must know a lot about them"

He stared down at me."I do not know much about them aside from the fact that they have a stubborn daughter like you"

I gripped his arm. And again, he stopped walking. His jaw clenched.

"Remove your hands Evengeline…"

The world stopped spinning.

The way he said my name sounds very familiar._Remove your hands_ _Evengeline…_

It was it was cold._Remove your hands Evangeline._I was were shouts and the sound of broken was night-

"You stupid girl!"

I was pulled back to reality. Professor Snape hastily removed my hands from his arm. I felt weak. I watched him walk towards the castle. I remained standing under the heat of the sun. Immobilized.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: It took me so long to post the next chapter. Again, forgive me for any mistakes.

Disclaimer: Belongs to JK Rowling

0000

Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.

James Stephens

The Muggle Studies classroom was as large as my quarters down in the dungeons. It is located in the third floor, where many armors adorned the corridor. It is a fine morning, and I am quite tired from last night. I have witnessed for the first time the Sorting Ceremony that took place in The Great Hall. I wonder which house I would be in, if ever that the Sorting hat could sort me. I sat still on my desk, waiting for my first students to arrive, I'm relieved that they were Hufflepuffs, I heared that Hufflepuffs are tamed, they are the kind of students who do not grow long pair of thorns on their heads.

I heared footsteps outside. And then, the door of the classroom was opened by a blonde girl. Several students followed, until almost all of the expected seats are occupied. I cleared my throat, summoning any power of authority inside me. Thankfully, all the buzzing stopped and everyone was quiet. I began with an introduction.

0000

It was twilight. My last class ended an hour ago. I walk silently in the dungeons, and made my way not to where my room was but to where Professor Snape is. But instead of goimg to his quarters, I have concluded that the man is definitely a workaholic, so I went to his classroom instead. I know that I must avoid him, for his presence make me seriously uneasy. But the event that took place a week ago made me to break my own law of avoiding him.

I opened the door and he was sitting and writing and I can feel that wintergreen scent again.

" When was the time when you start to lose your respect Evangeline?" His voice was low and very serious. " Do you not know how to knock?" He put his quill down and looked at me. My throat run dry.

I closed the door. Cleared my throat and speak in a sort of professional voice. " I was just wondering if..if you could help me…" My oxygen is running out. I took a deep breath. And tried again. " I was just wondering if you could help me with my lessons. I need to explain and differentiate to my students the differences between the muggle and wizarding life." I walked towards him. "You are a potion maker, you make potions, sort of like a chemist pharmacist in the muggle world." I am now standing beside in fromt of him. The desk separate us.

" What do you intend me to do?"

" I wanted to know the ingredients you are using for your potions, and compare it to the muggle medicinal ingredients and excipients."

" A library exists, if you have forgotten about that." He said sarcastically.

"But I wanted to do experiment with you. About potions and drugs." I said cooly.

" Very well" I guess I got him. I smiled.

I walked to the door." Professor, I think one of the advantages of making a potion instead of a drug is that the ingredients are easy to remember…"

I saw him scowled. I felt myself flush. This man is undoubtly intelligent, and a genius, one of the reasons why I am undeniably intimidated. Well, I have a plan. A very beautiful plan.

I closed the door. And this time, my smile was wide.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry for a very late update.**

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K rowling. **

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**We can never go back again, that much is certain. The past is still too close to us. The things we have tried to forget and put behind us would stir again, and that sense of fear, of furtive unrest... might in some manner unforeseen become a living companion, as it had before.**

**-Daphne du Maurier**

Time flies past. And I am still struggling to adapt in the wizarding world. I have made few mistakes, that I tried to avoid but I still failed on doing so. I have punished a Slytherin student on my third week of teaching. And the punishment was in a muggle way of course. But still, I'm quite glad of my busy schedule, for it distract me from things that I do not fancy to think about. It was late. I was doing research in the library, and on my way to the dungeons, I have decided to check on Professor Snape. He was like a magnet of some sort, drawing me to him without my intent. It's like facing down from the cliff, and there's this kind of force that pushes you to jump. I planned to knock, but decided against it. And I decided to went to my own room and rest. And then, I dreamed.

In my dream, it was night. Im lying on my bed, and the moon was visible on my window. I heared shoutings, and of broken glasses. In my dream, I have slipped on my slippers and stepped out of my room. Maybe they were here. It's impossible that Mar ta and John would make those noises, maybe _they're_ here. I was surprised to see smoke covering the whole hallway. But not impossible to block my view. I saw the farthest room with it's door slightly opened, and I walked towards it. Inside the room was nothing. Except for a full body mirror. I stepped inside, and that's when I saw her. The mirror reflecting her.A little girl of seven. I looked curiously at her, and she looked back at me, wearing the same expression. She wore a pink floral left sleeve was torn. I furrowed my brows. And I am thinking, if this girl share the same type of blood like the rest of my family. Should I ask her? There's nothing to be afraid, she's just a kid. Looking at her ragged appearance, I suddenly have the urge to look at my clothing. And I'm surprised to see that my sleeve was torn too. I looked to the girl again, and she looked at me. I clutched my dress. My floral pink dress. And she clutched hers too. And then On the mirror, I saw a flash of red light, and it hit me on the back. I fell on the smoke filled the air.

No sunlight can penetrate in the dungeons. And I do not know what time it is the moment I woke up. So I quickly dressed and headed to the Great Hall, and found out that I missed breakfast, that I missed my three classes that morning, and that it's now lunch time. I took my seat beside Professor Snape. And ravaged the food in front of me. I was exhausted from last night, I was exhausted from my dream.

" You look like a mess" He said in his usual low voice. "Do you not practice punctuality, Evangeline?"

I stopped chewing. He's the only one who calls me Evangeline. The rest of the professors address me by my last name. I refused to speak.

" Missed three classes. Hmm…you just made a history. I might congratulate you." He smirked. I remained silent.

I was about to get my goblet of pumpkin juice when I noticed for the first time Professor Snape's wand. I stared at it. And I tried to touch it. My fingertips brushed the wood. And Professor Snape snatched it from me. I was taken aback by the sudden harshness. And my arm accidentally knocked the pumpkin juice, which spilled on the table, Professor Snape muttered disapproval under his breath as he flicked his wand to clean the mess. He looked at me with his cold dark eyes. And I remain powerless. And cannot do a thing but stare. The tunnel had engulfed me.


End file.
